Don’t you know how to swear, you beslubbering, rump-fed bum-bailey?
We think we’re so creative with our four letter curse words and our revolting insults, don’t we? Well, we’re not. I don’t know about you, but when in the throws of a violent tantrum or when simply enraged at something or someone, there is nothing more cathartic than bellowing a shocking string of naughty words…so long as they do indeed shock and horrify. This method of de-stressing is obsolete however, when one’s choice words become standard, everyday terms, recycled more often than they’re worth. We have no idea how uncreative and unimaginative our profanity bank has become; we reuse the same five or six words over and over again and as a result, our small and boring vocabulary of swear words has begun to hold little weight and very rarely makes much of an impact.
Shakespeare however, knew how to coin a juicy insult. Renowned for introducing numerous words to our dictionaries, this oddity of a playwright was never deterred by a lack of suitable words, simply creating his own to suit the occasion. Fortunately for us, this liberal approach to language extended beyond the analytical and the adjectival, delving deeply into the wonderful world of wicked words!
Fed up with calling your arch-nemesis the same thing every time he infuriates you? Why not use Shakespeare’s tools and create your own satisfying, descriptive, dirty insult? I found this useful table on a website this morning and thought you might be able to find a few occasions on which to experiment with it… From each column, pick a word that warms your hateful heart, join your three choices together and voilà – you have yourself a revolting insult that’ll shock and horrify your enemies, siblings and sporting opponents into submission. And you won’t even be breaking any rules…
|Column 1||Column 2||Column 3|
Happy reading, you unmuzzled, knotty-pated foot-lickers!